Just like every other weekend in this beautiful land, MLS week 21 brought us highs and lows, upsets and meltdowns, belters and howlers, and a whole bunch of other euphemisms for the wonderful things that can only happen in our game.
Let's start our tour around the weekend's action with a trip to...
Bike City! of the Week
Well, the thing is... there were TWO bike cities this weekend, because of course there were. This is totally going to throw a wrench in our travel plans, but since we can't be in two places at once, we're going to start in Kansas City.
They love their barbecue, and let's just say Benny Feilhaber put some absolute sauce on this one.
Ok yes, as some of you have noticed, he's literally a yard away from the goal line.
Rebuttle: who cares? That's a freakin' awesome goal. Look at how many times that ball deflects in different directions. For Benny to be able to track that movement, adjust his body, and slam that thing into the back of the net is pretty special. It's a thunderous dunk, not a lay-up.
*One plane ride and a pair of cowboy boots later...*
Hello everybody and welcome to Dallas, where this happened:
Things to love about this goal: throw-in assist, bike, near post finish.
Come on, folks. That's awesome.
Solo Golazo of the Week
For this one, we have no choice but to go back to Kansas City and grab some more barbecue, which we can all agree is a good thing.
Another good thing is this goal from Daniel Salloi, who absolutely shook Joao Meira all the way down.
MLS attackers be warned: If you scamper off on a run from half field, freeze a defender like that, and curl one home, to boot, you're getting a spot in this column whether you like it or not.
"THERE YOU GO, NICK LIMA!" of the Week
Yeah dude, there you go.
Well, there you go. No explanation of why that was awesome is necessary, I hope.
Post Move of the Week
Cyle Larin is a large man, and is thus capable of boxing out defenders like he's an NBA center. When a squad has smart runners off the ball like... let's see... Kaka, that makes a forward who can do stuff like Larin extremely useful, because it sets up goals like this:
Who says Route 1 soccer can't be beautiful?
Heartbreaker of the Week
This column loves a good heartbreaker, and this isn't the first time Atlanta United have been the team to deliver it...
What a pair of goals to feature in this match! A blinder from Kaka and a late, late, late dagger from Villalba really make for an entertaining fixture, and that's exactly what we're looking at here. Kudos to Hector Villalba, because just last week he made it into this column with a screamer that earned him our 'What a Hit, Son!' of the week award. The man loves the limelight.
Results from the Weekend
Atlanta United 1-1 Orlando City SC
New England 3-0 Philadelphia Union
Red Bulls 4-0 Montreal Impact
FC Dallas 0-4 Vancouver Whitecaps
Houston Dynamo 2-2 Portland Timbers
Sporting KC 3-2 Chicago Fire
Minnesota United 4-0 D.C. United
Real Salt Lake 2-2 Columbus Crew SC
San Jose Earthquakes 1-0 Colorado Rapids
LA Galaxy 0-0 Seattle Sounders
Toronto FC 0-4 NYCFC
Golden Boot Race
- Nemanja Nikolic - 16 Goals
- David Villa - 14 Goals
- David Accam and Cubo Torres - 12 Goals